I had mentioned earlier that this journey did not begin today.
In many ways, it began more than 30 years ago - when I was still in college.
“ The pilgrim’s walk may be beginning now, but the inner journey started 35 years ago.“
It might come as a surprise to those reading this. But when I look back now, it surprises me as well — how someone so young, even before completing college, could take such decisions, and more importantly, live with them.
Two words — God’s grace.
Let me turn back the clock and ask you to join me in that phase of my journey.
Even before college, I had read the Ramayana and the Mahabharata. I was deeply drawn to Rama — his righteousness, his adherence to dharma despite all difficulties. On the other hand, Krishna felt very different to me — almost cunning, someone willing to go beyond dharma to get things done.
Those impressions stayed… until I read the Mahabharata in more detail, and more importantly, the Gita after college. That’s when I began to understand Krishna.
Somewhere along the way, these shaped how I looked at life. I felt I should be honest and truthful. While the Ramayana guided my sense of principles, it was the Mahabharata and the Gita that quietly influenced my decisions.
During my third or fourth year of college, a thought took root — that the bond to samsara had to be removed. That I should not get tied down by attachments that would hold me back.
I began observing fasts — entire Saturdays, for Perumal.
Slowly, something within started shifting.
At some point, I made a decision: I would remain single, and when I turned 40, I would step away from worldly life. I would travel to the Divya Desams, visit the great rivers — Ganga, Yamuna, Cauvery, Godavari — and spend time along their banks.
Looking back now, it feels like a surprising decision for someone that young.
Even before I started working, I had decided that I would retire at 40.
Why 40? I don’t know. Maybe it was just a number.
But more importantly, I knew why I chose an age and not a financial goal. If I chased a number, there would always be “a little more” to earn. It would never end.
After college, there was a gap before I entered the corporate world. During that time, I read a more elaborate version of the Gita. That phase only strengthened my resolve.
It also introduced me to the idea of nishkaama karma.
For many years at work, I tried to live by it. I did what was asked of me, without questioning whether it benefited me personally, and without expecting anything in return.
For more than a decade and a half, I never asked for a promotion, nor did I question my salary hikes.
But that changed in my last year at work.
Maybe that, too, was a sign from above.
